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Even Better than Dad Jokes: Funny Father’s Day Gifts

May 29, 2017

Hail, friends! We are living in a golden age of dad jokes, wherein corny puns and the frustrated groans of the nation’s teenagers reign supreme. What better way, then, to celebrate this Father’s Day than with a teensy bit of humor? Read on for a brief selection of goods hand-picked to give Dad a leg up when it’s time for him to practice stand-up. (Sorry. We’ll see ourselves out.)

 

Who among us hasn’t cracked a joke or two at the expense of capitalism? Help Dad toast the absurdity of big business with this pair of rocks glasses featuring definitions from American master Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary. | Devil’s Dictionary Finance Glasses – Set of 2

 

Ah, yes—the literal gag, a favorite of fathers everywhere. Give him a taste of his own comedic medicine with this itty-bitty stoneware mug designed expressly to serve up spirits. Tequila, anyone? | Mug Shot

 

Any New York-dwelling dad—heck, anyone who’s ever set foot in New York—is sure to chuckle at this painstaking breakdown of the many varieties of trash found throughout the city, from disused mattresses (hello, bedbugs) to trampled Starbucks straws. | Periodic Table of NYC Trash

 

Meanwhile, this similarly in-depth chart will provide Dad with all sorts of new and exciting ammo with which to insult his loved ones, all of it sourced from Shakespeare. Never before been called a heedless jolt-head? Just you wait. | Shakespearean Insults Chart

 

Been searching for that perfect way to help him say “I hate this job and I want you to leave me alone”? This hefty paperweight—made from recycled steel—gets the message across pretty nicely. | F Bomb Paperweight

 

If good-natured intimidation is more his thing, take a look at these unassuming desk signs designed to keep underlings on their toes. Is he joking? Legend has it the last guy who asked retreated to the broom closet never to be seen again, so, uh, nobody knows. | Big Personality Desk Signs

 

Little else screams “dad” so clearly as an overt pun. If our experience is any indication, your relationship will be smooth sailing once he unwraps these actual rocks designed for drinking… wait for it… on the rocks. | On the Rocks Set

 

You’ll never need to worry about these glasses becoming out of date: the records they detail, from longest hitting streak in a season to most consecutive no-hitters pitched in a given career, are basically impossible to break. Just make sure Dad doesn’t extend that logic to the glasses themselves. | Record-Breaking Baseball Glasses – Set of Four

 

This jolly handcrafted lamp will double as a reminder of that time your dog had surgery on her cornea and had to wear a goofy plastic cone, which she later ripped to shreds and pooped atop in protest. Wait—that didn’t happen with everyone’s dog? Well, the cone’s still funny. | Dog E-Collar Lamp

 

Cuff links are back, baby, and they’re looking better than ever. Ideal for any practical jokester, these little silvery robots come complete with movable arms and legs, the perfect tools for distracting fellow parents at sixth grade graduation ceremonies and choral concerts. | Moving Robot Cufflinks

 

Great for those occasional days when Dad can’t possibly make it to the gym (read: most, if not all, days), this playful homage to athleticism will at last allow him to take out his anger on something that deserves it: dirty clothes. | Laundry Punch Bag

 

Flowers. Plumber. Candygram. (He’s old enough to remember that skit, right?) | Land Shark

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1 Comment

  • Reply Amanda White June 14, 2017 at 11:13 am

    The dog lamp with the cone is funny and sad at the same time! What in the world. I just lost my dog, after several surgeries, so it actually made me a little sad too. 🙁
    Ok, so I’m not sure if this is ‘funny’ per say but there are these 100% made in the USA (in NC actually) mini tabletop cornhole boards that you can customize with a family picture for Father’s Day – hah! Check it out: https://www.coinhole.com/products/fathers-day-custom-coinhole-board?variant=42669221326

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